The Role of the Man





  1. With a birth two weeks ago, we were reminded that God makes a sovereign choice of a person’s sex.
  2. If you are a boy or man, God chose you to be so, and He gave plain precepts for you to do for Him.
  3. You were not asked; your parents did not choose; and you cannot alter the fact. The choice is God’s.
  4. We have been studying the battle for the Bible, but the Bible’s true value is in its wisdom for living, which shows our true love for God’s scriptures by our willingness and zeal to put it into practice.
  5. The Bible is the written opinion of the God of heaven for the wise conduct of His children on earth.
  6. All the opinions of all men and any opinion of any man have no weight compared to Holy Scripture, therefore it is the solemn duty of every man to carefully hear and obey what God has declared.
  7. Why is it good to preach on the role of the man, when we have a good group of godly men already?
    1. A faithful minister preaches the whole counsel of God, even unpopular subjects (Acts 20:20,27).
    2. No matter how good they appear to be or actually are, they can always do better (I Thess 4:9-10).
    3. God’s glory is maximized in relationships that fulfill the roles God gave (I Cor 10:31; Col 3:17).
    4. Our relationship with God requires good relationships with family (Mal 2:10-16; 4:5-6; I Pet 3:7).
    5. Virtuous men living glorious lives adorn the gospel (Titus 2:1-2,9-10; I Tim 6:1; Phil 2:14-16).
    6. Virtuous men living glorious and functional lives condemn the lies of men (Pr 28:4; De 4:5-8).
    7. Men will only find true happiness filling his role from God (Pr 3:13,18; 16:20; 28:14; 29:18).
    8. Functional homes result in happy wives, children, and grandchildren (Ps 128:1-6; 144:12-15).
    9. The kingdom of God and churches of Jesus Christ depend on godly men (Ps 12:1; Ezek 22:30).
    10. There is no reminder or encouragement on this subject from the world or today’s Christianity.
    11. Every man will give an account (Eccl 12:13-14; Matt 25:19; Romans 14:10-12; II Cor 5:9-11).
  8. Every whining, television-addicted, business-obsessed, or carnally minded man is a disgrace to his sex, a shame to his family, and will be judged severely by the great God of heaven.
  9. Every boy and man should be praying, “Lord, teach me, convict me, and strengthen me.”
  10. The most glorious, valorous, and exalted men are those that learn and do all these things.

The Man Is a Glory

  1. God created man in His image and likeness, especially as ruler with dominion (Gen 1:26-28).
  2. To understand this aspect of God’s image, remember that rulers are called gods (Ex 22:28).
  3. Man should never cover his head, even with the symbolic humility or subjection, for he is the image and glory of God by virtue of his position as the head of his race (I Cor 11:3-4,7).
  4. The bold, unashamed, and confident glory of a man is preserved by short hair (I Cor 11:14).
  5. A weak, compromising, apologetic, henpecked man is one of the sickest sights on the earth.
  6. A man filling his role as father of the family will be the glory of his children, and this will extend beyond the third grade, when many sons pass their fathers in many respects (Pr 17:6).
  7. A godly wife will adore a godly man, for she will respond by nature to his manly godliness.
  8. An old man’s gray hair is a crown of glory, if he is a faithful and godly man (Prov 16:31).
  9. Of course, a man is only a glory when he is faithful, not when he thinks he is good (Pr 20:6).
  10. One of the greatest judgments on a people of any sort is the removal of their men (Is 3:1-15).
    1. This passage clearly describes His judgment of taking away the great men of a nation.
    2. Instead of men, women and children become rulers, and such rulers destroy the nation.
    3. Women and children are rulers today, and grandchildren are proud against grandparents.
    4. If it does not apply to the United States in 2005, then it never applied to any nation.
  11. Men do not need to get in touch with their feminine side; they need to put on the new man!
  12. This generation mocks and ridicules men as ignorant buffoons, but we follow the wise Bible.

The Man Is a Leader

  1. God created Adam first in the new world: the woman was his helper (Gen 2:18; I Tim 2:13).
  2. God promoted Adam higher over the woman after her failure in Eden (Gen 3:16; I Tim 2:14).
  3. Abraham and Joshua, two great leaders, did not lead by consensus (Gen 18:19; Josh 24:15).
  4. Do you think Caleb asked his wife if he should take on the Anakims by himself (Josh 14:12)?
  5. Even vows and freewill offerings of wives and daughters were subject to him (Num 30:1-16).
  6. Cornelius and the jailor are two typical examples of the man leading the family to Christ.
  7. Wives, families, and churches are in desperate pain and trouble when their men do not lead, and this point does not have anything to do with bringing home a paycheck at all.
  8. A leader is a man who does it first, does it best, does it cheerfully, and enforces compliance.
  9. A Christian man leads by example in godliness and then instructs and enforces his family.
  10. A leader is not a man who yells, complains, sleeps, gets distracted, gets moody, or quits.
  11. A godly wife and children will follow a consistent Christian man being their leader, in spite of any initial reactions or the rebellion of most families against the man in the world at large.
  12. Power is an aphrodisiac, and the more a woman sees her husband as a confident and strong leader, the more she will want him to make love to her! Women cannot stand whimps in bed!
  13. What in the world did the apostle mean about quitting yourselves like men (I Cor 16:13)? This is because great men are willing to take pain and boldly do what is right no matter what!
  14. This generation seeks to reverse this role, which is a significant cause of its great corruption.

The Man Is a Lover

  1. God commands the man to love his wife in spite of his authority (Eph 5:25-33; Col 3:19).
    1. Immediately following the wife’s submission is the charge for him to love that very wife.
    2. This love is extended sacrificially in order to obtain the maximum pleasure from the wife.
    3. This love includes cherishing as a special object and nourishing as help to fully develop.
    4. If a man deprives his wife of love – cherishing and nourishing – he deprives himself.
    5. As hard as it may be at times, he is to avoid and reject bitterness toward her. Lord, help!
  2. God gives the woman as much right for sexual pleasure in marriage as the man (I Cor 7:1-5), for he owes her full due benevolence – sex how, when, where, and how often that she wants.
  3. The book of Song of Solomon gives a graphic picture of a man deeply loving his wife with all the erotic aggression and romanticism and praise that a woman craves and thrives on.
  4. If your wife is not craving sex, you have probably not treated her like the man in the book.
  5. Before any man, who is the leader, can expect his wife to practice this book, he should do so!
  6. There are two commands about your wife’s body and love that are plainly revealed (Pr 5:19).

The Man Is a Teacher

  1. The man is the primary teacher of the children regardless of what anyone says (Eph 6:4).
  2. While his wife is a secondary and subordinate teacher, he takes the clear lead (Pr 1:8; 6:20).
  3. Children, families, churches, and society are perverted when women take over as teachers.
  4. This basic rule of the family was established early, and it is by this rule that great families are cultivated in the earth and the truth perpetuated (Deut 6:6-9; Ps 34:11; 78:1-8; Joel 1:1-3).
  5. The entire household was lead by the man of the house (Genesis 18:19; Joshua 24:15).
  6. When a wife wanted to learn anything, she was to ask her husband at home (I Cor 14:34-35).
  7. Therefore, every man should be a spiritual man in the word of God to rightly teach his wife.
  8. Therefore, every father should find men for their daughters who can answer her questions.

The Man Is a Protector

  1. He goes to war to protect the nation, though not during the first year of marriage (Deut 24:5).
  2. He trains the servants or obtains other means of protecting his family from harm (Gen 14:14).
  3. He reviews family influences and rejects any that undermine godly morals, which is far more important than wearing a uniform and going off to war with a distant enemy (Ps 101:3-8).
  4. He will not allow sons or daughters to get emotionally involved with unbelievers or fools, for as the head of the family, he knows and hates evil men and women (Pr 2:10-20; I Cor 15:33).
  5. As Abraham and other men, he will rule his family’s marriages (Gen 24:1-67; I Cor 7:36-38).
  6. He makes schooling decisions for children to protect them from the world’s rot (Gal 4:1-2).
  7. He protects his vulnerable wife from the evil influence of false teachers by forbidding her to listen to creeping teachers and spend much time on Bible study without him (II Tim 3:6-7).
  8. He recognizes that a virtuous woman is too busy to sit around and listen to Jimmy Dobson.

The Man Is a Provider

  1. He is charged with business, even away from home, but not in the first year (Deut 24:5).
  2. He is to get established with a profession or business – a life – before a wife (Prov 24:27).
  3. The wife is to approach him and ask for help, even when it is obvious (II Kgs 4:9-10,22-24).
  4. If a man does not provide for his family, he is a heretic and worse than a pagan (I Tim 5:8).
  5. A good man leaves an estate for children and grandchildren (Pr 13:22; 19:14; II Cor 12:14).
  6. While children must care for parents in need, godly parents will not be caught in need!

The Man Is a Manager

  1. AHe should see the big picture better than anyone else in the family (Numbers 30:1-16).
    1. The man should see his role as the strategic planner and goal setter for the whole family.
    2. He should direct his wife to implement his strategic plan through overseeing daily details.
  2. Since the man is the head of the wife and children, all family problems are clearly his fault; it is his responsibility to settle all disputes and problems – he is Problem Resolution Manager.
  3. When the immediate problem in a family is the wife, it is only by a man allowing it to be so!
    1. If a man’s wife is no longer pleasing him, then he needs to take measures to correct her.
    2. If a woman is not doing a good job at mothering, it is his responsibility to correct it.
    3. Since every man chose the wife he has, surely he must be confident of managing her.
  4. It is an axiom of life that dysfunctional problems can be traced back to a negligent man.
  5. He is to dwell with his weaker-vessel wife according to knowledge and honor (I Peter 3:7).
  6. This is applied by loving her without bitterness, which is very difficult for men (Col 3:19).
  7. If he cannot manage his wife or children, he should get help (Num 5:11-31; Matt 18:15-17).
  8. When John Baptist came restoring relationships, he went after fathers (Mal 4:5-6; Luk 1:17).

The Man Is a Judge

  1. Jehonadab the son of Rechab ordered his family to avoid wine and houses (Jer 35:1-19); and though these were matters of liberty, he made them matters of conscience and godliness.
  2. Isaac told Jacob whom he could not marry and where to go to get a great wife (Gen 28:1-5).
  3. He was given the authority to annul or confirm vows and offerings to God (Num 30:1-16).
  4. Consider Jacob on his deathbed declaring the blessing or curses on his sons (Gen 49:1-33).
  5. When a wife crosses a man, he must deal with her according to her crime (II Sam 6:15-23).
  6. A godly man applies and enforces God’s laws and wisely sets his rules on issues of liberty.

The Man Is a Priest

  1. Understand that the choice of this term is to get you to think of patriarchs and spirituality.
  2. As the head of the home under Christ, his prayers will be heard first and loudest (I Cor 11:3).
  3. He leads about a sister, which is a euphemistic term of marriage but implies more (I Cor 9:5).
  4. He instructs his wife in spiritual matters pertaining to the church at home (I Cor 14:34-35).
  5. He commands his family in religious matters, when changes need to be made (Gen 35:1-4).
  6. He is the teacher and the perpetuator of the truth in the earth (Deut 6:6-9; Ps 34:11; 78:1-8).
  7. Reading about the patriarchs like Noah and Abraham should bolster a man in his great role.
  8. Are you familiar with the great intercession by Job for his children (Job 1:5)? Can you copy?
  9. Consider five great intercessors – Noah, Job, Moses, Samuel, Daniel (Jer 15:1; Ezek 14:14).
  10. God is looking for just one man to take a stand and be great for God (Jer 5:1; Ezek 22:30).
  11. Great men are known for their generosity and mercy, not their cruelty, fury, or violence.
  12. He must rule his spirit to be great, for an unruly man is a disgrace (Proverbs 16:32; 25:28).

The Man Is a Pillar

  1. It is great men that make great families, cities, and nations, but especially great churches.
  2. It is from among the men that God chooses and ordains His bishops and deacons for service.
  3. Paul saw Peter, James, and John as pillars in the huge church in Jerusalem (Galatians 2:9).
  4. Godliness to hospitality to zeal to defense of the truth must begin and flourish among men.
  5. A glorious man is like David, in favor with God and men like no other (I Sam 18:12-16,30).
  6. It is a horrible judgment on a family, city, nation, or church when the great men disappear, and women and children take over (Ps 12:1; 82:1-8; Is 3:1-15; Jer 5:1; Ezek 22:30).
  7. Consider David and the pillars of the nation of Israel (Psalm 11:3; 75:3; 82:5; I Sam 2:8).


  1. No matter what the world thinks or says, God has spoken, and like every other subject, that settles it!
  2. If you men fail your duty, you will destroy a woman, children, and grandchildren; you will pay for it!
  3. But you will also harm this church and the other families in it by not pulling the weight of your joint!
  4. Men must remember their role as of the Lord, for they under Christ and over the woman (I Cor 11:3).
  5. They are the image and likeness of God by their wise use of authority and privilege (I Cor 11:7).
  6. The Bible will make men great, and it will make great men greater. Read, believe, and obey it!

For further study:

  1. Sermon Outline: “A Mighty Man’s Life,” details and prioritizes the various duties in a godly man’s life.
  2. Sermon Outline: “Marriage Only in the Lord,” provides the Bible basis for fathers selecting spouses.