Righteous Relationships
“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.”
Malachi 4:5-6
The PROPHECY
- Elijah the prophet would come before the great and terrible day of the Lord.
- John the Baptist fulfilled this prophecy before Jerusalem’s destruction (Luke 1:17).
- A people prepared for the Lord included restoration of parent-child relationships.
- Note the practical nature of John’s required repentance (Luke 3:10-14).
- Wrong relationships bring a curse; the LORD requires right relationships.
- The Word of God emphasizes the importance of parent-child relationships.
- Today we are dealing with marriages, parent-child, and brotherly relationships.
The PROBLEM
- Perilous times of the last days include child rebellion (II Timothy 3:1-5).
- God’s judgments on men include sodomy and child rebellion (Rom 1:29-31).
- A judgment of God against Israel was to take away their men (Isaiah 3:1-26).
- Marriage is also a relationship that is sorely neglected and abused today.
- Bad marriages, families, and churches are a reason for blasphemy (Titus 2:5).
- Our marriages, families, and church ought to be a shining example to the world.
- Because you don’t do heroin, sell porno to children, go to Catholic Mass, have a Buddha in your backyard, watch television, drink beer, wear immodest sweaters, or allow rock music is not proof of very much at all, if your relationships are poor.
The PERILS
- Foolish children are the calamity and shame of parents (Pr 10:1; 17:21,25; 19:13).
- An unhappy marriage is worse than death (Eccl 7:26; Proverbs 30:21-23; 21:9,19).
- We are not a people prepared for the Lord and prayers are hindered (I Peter 3:7).
- Even the youth can rank the marriages from best to worst very easily, and I am not talking about your children. If others can see your problems, what about the LORD?
- The way of transgressors is hard (Prov 13:15). Trouble will come to punish you.
- If you are a foolish child, you forfeit a great reward and bring judgment (Eph 6:3).
The RULES
- SCRIPTURE IS THE ONLY AUTHORITY AND MEASURE
- All instruction necessary is in the Bible (Psalm 119:99-100; II Tim 3:16-17).
- We may believe “every word of God,” but our living it is far more important.
- Ideas from examples, experiences, feelings, thoughts, or conscience are vain.
- The “advances” of our modern society have only perverted relationships.
- Books, seminars, tapes, and radio programs have not had godly fruit.
- There is lots of learning, but it has not resulted in truth (II Timothy 3:7).
- There is NO LIGHT in modern modifications of the Bible absolutes (Is 8:20).
- The Bible seems Neanderthal to the modern man, but Let God Be True!
- It doesn’t matter if you and your family agree on doing it differently. It is sin.
- Fatherhood is not causing babies or raising babies. It is training godly babies.
- GOD WISELY CHOSE THE OFFICES
- God chose to create us as helpless infants rather than a grown Adam or Eve.
- God ordained marriage to solve man’s loneliness and woman’s protection.
- God ordained families for companionship, nurturing, training, and worship.
- God ordained churches for our mutual assistance and corporate worship.
- Husbands over wives and parents over children is not an option nor vague.
- GOD SOVEREIGNLY CHOSE THE PERSONS
- You were not asked at all about your parents – genetically or practically; and they have enormous consequences on every aspect of your natural life.
- Whether you think you chose your spouse or not, God chose them for you.
- And the members in every church are by God’s choice also (I Cor 12:18).
- SUBMISSION IS ESSENTIAL FOR AUTHORITY TO EXIST
- Authority exists either by sheer terror or by the consent of those under it.
- God has stated His mind regarding this matter, so we submit in holy fear.
- We first meet authority in our parents, who absolutely dominate our lives.
- Love, kindness, and fairness are not essential for authority, but submission is.
- Children, wives, and servants are addressed first in the Biblical order.
- Families and marriage can exist without love, but not without submission.
- Submission done grudgingly leaves both parties hurt, angry, and bitter.
- All men submit, so children and women should not feel isolated at all.
- Women use many excuses why they are not perfect wives, but it is sin.
- Children must obey and reverence parents, and wives husbands.
- Make sure you are defining submission God’s way; it has nothing to do with what your husband/father expects, requests, demands, accepts, or likes.
- Go to the Word of God and be that kind of a wife or child. Any less is sin.
- AUTHORITY IS REQUIRED TO ENFORCE AND ATTRACT SUBMISSION
- Once a relationship has been achieved by consent of those in subjection, then those in authority are bound by God to enforce and win submission.
- Young men are asked to join the army, but they are not asked anything again.
- A man proposes, but it is duty and wisdom to seduce and rule her (De 24:5).
- You cannot give up and say I just can’t get my wife or children to obey, it is your duty before God to expect and receive obedience and reverence.
- You cannot think leadership and rule is an option; it is God’s wise precept.
- FAITH TRUSTS GOD TO REWARD DILIGENCE
- Satan says, “If you give all you should give, they will take advantage of you.”
- Satan says, “If you give all you should give, you will have nothing for you.”
- Satan says, “If you give all you should give, how will that make you happy?”
- Satan says, “It takes two to make a happy marriage. It is a two-way street.”
- Satan says, “This extreme preacher only talks of those with perfect spouses.”
- Satan says, “If you don’t rebel and contend a little, things will fall apart.”
- Satan says, “They can do it just fine without you.”
- Satan says, “If you take the authority and lead, you will make mistakes.”
- Satan says, “If you take the authority and lead, you will lose your family.”
- It is easy to read and memorize Hebrews 11:6, but we must practice it.
- SELFISHNESS IS THE GREATEST CURSE
- Most every single problem in relationships may be traced back to selfishness.
- What keeps you from the top five things you should do in relationships?
- How can one saved by the gracious sacrifice of Jesus Christ be selfish?
- We are to think upon the things of others more than our own (Phil 2:3-4).
- Loving others as much as we love ourselves is the cure for all problems.
- Pagans, including “Christian counselors,” promote self-love and self-esteem.
- The only thing holding you back from happiness is YOUR selfish pride.
- Selfishness says, “If they would treat me better, I would treat them better.”
- Selfishness says, “Look, neat marriage ideas, now my husband can love me.”
- Selfishness says, “I always do what they ask.” But what about initiative?
- GIVING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN RECEIVING
- Jesus said it is more blessed to given than to receive. Try it sometime.
- But if I am giving all the time, when will I get? You will obtain the greatest pleasure in giving, and true giving works with God’s help 100% of the time.
- If both sides are waiting to get more from the other, NOTHING IMPROVES.
- We call the golden rule treating others as we desire to be treated FIRST.
- We are called to be a tree of life and soul winners – even in our relationships.
- SINCERITY IS THE APPRECIATION OF CORRECTION
- The sincerity of submission and your desire for godly relationships is proven by your willingness to be corrected and make sacrificial changes.
- True wisdom is most easily defined and shown by love of correction.
- The testiness of a person is a certain indicator of relationship problems.
- Self-righteousness is one of the most horrible and dangerous sins from hell.
- It is difficult to say you are wrong, foolish, and stupid.
- It is confidence you are quite competent, intelligent, and capable.
- It is enjoying finding or discussing the faults or weaknesses of others.
- It is presuming to accuse others, when you have your own set of sins.
- It is always having an opinion about the conduct of others.
- It is the defensiveness and testiness of resisting correction.
- It is the presumption of making judgments about those in authority.
- It is the ease with which you can apply a sermon to most anyone else.
- It is the thought during a sermon that your relationships are not bad.
- It is the response that I am comfortable with things as they are.
- KNOWLEDGE OF THE OTHER IS NECESSARY
- Husbands are to live with wives in knowledge – explore and learn (I Pet 3:7).
- Remember again, the Lord provided for one year to cheer up his wife.
- Fathers are to know their children and capacities (Eph 6:4; Psalm 103:13-14).
- Men must learn to explore, inquire, learn, confront, and listen with wise rule.
- EXPLORATION AND CONFRONTATION ARE REQUIRED
- True love includes confrontation (Leviticus 19:17; Hebrews 12:1-5).
- Of course, those under authority must have a great cause and great discretion.
- No sincere and godly person under authority will open and confess at once.
- Brotherly love includes warning, comfort, support, and showing patience.
- RELATIONSHIPS ARE A COMMANDMENT, NOT AN OPTION
- We are not dealing with . . . “If you want to improve your relationships.”
- We are dealing with . . . “Thus saith the Lord.”
- We are dealing with . . . “The way of transgressors is hard.”
- You do not have the right to consider this sermon. You must obey it!
- You cannot say, “We have agreed to have a marriage like this”, if it differs from God’s holy, authoritative, romantic, sexual, model.
- PRIORITY MEANS TO DO IT NOW
- We must DO this sermon, and we must do it NOW. We cannot procrastinate.
- Remember, repent, and do the first works (Rev 2:5).
- What else do you need to hear? God said it; we believe it; that settles it.
- Delay means to despise the Spirit of God, punish another, and be a masochist.
- Nothing should come before these primary relationships – nothing!
- Why and how did this sermon occur? By the grace of the living God! Use it!
- Don’t lie to God you don’t have time. Buy back time by quitting something.
- Don’t wait for convenience like Felix – such a day never arrives (Acts 24:25).
- Train children betimes – early in life while there is hope (Prov 13:24; 19:18).
- YOU CAN DO IT AND GOD WILL BLESS IT
- God has given and will yet give the strength and power to do all required.
- Do you have faith? God is? God is a rewarder of diligent seekers?
- There is no temperamental, historical, or practical limitation upon you.
- Jesus Christ by His Spirit is within you with all strength needed (Phil 4:13).
- God has given us all things that pertain to life and godliness (II Peter 1:1-4).
- COMPROMISE IS ONLY AND ABSOLUTELY REBELLION
- If you do not fully and totally change all that is lacking today, you are a fool.
- Saul spared Agag and the choice animals for sacrifice – which was rebellion.
- We know so much; we could glorify God so much; we could commend truth so much; we could love others so much; so compromise is profane hatred.
- If there are not clear changes in your marriage immediately, you are sinning.