Proverbs 7:18

Is lust love? Is sex love? Does lust or sex prove love? Is an offer of sex an offer of love? Is having sex truly lovemaking? Or are these terms often confused to the ruin of lives?

The truth is – you can love another person without sex as easily as you can have sex without love. Sincere and true love does not lust for personal gratification from another, nor would it consider sex outside marriage for all the guilt, pain, sin, and trouble it brings.

Here are the enticing words of a strange woman, lying words of a whore, damning words of hell and death (Pr 5:5; 7:27; 9:18). These are the words of Potiphar’s wife, Delilah, Jezebel, Cleopatra, and other wicked women. Hate these words! See the lies! Feel the painful consequences (Pr 5:4-5,9-11). Know the mouth speaking them is a deep ditch (Pr 23:27). Prepare against her now, for when you hear her words, it will likely be too late.

Such words have destroyed many strong men, for flattering attention from a strange woman is a powerful attraction and deadly device (Pr 2:16; 5:3; 6:24; 7:5,21). How can a man resist the affectionate invitation and passionate desire for intimate pleasures coming from a beautiful and confident woman (Pr 6:13-17)? He is powerless before her, as Samson proved (Judges 16:4-21). For every Joseph, there are a thousand Davids.

Young man, this is an invitation to hell. The words may be exciting and gratifying to hear, but they disguise and hide the heinous sin. Solomon knew the horror of these words, and he thought them worse than death (Eccl 7:26). Make this warning dear to your soul, and stay far from her (Pr 7:1-5). Purpose in your heart now to reject and hate her ways. Despise these words and women who speak them. Flee to the mountains! Save yourself!

Consider the lies, for they are many. She says, “Come,” but her heart is not with you (Pr 23:6-8). She has no commitment; she does not truly want you; she is just using you (Pr 6:26). If you go to her, she will take you down to hell in this world and in the world to come. When Potiphar’s wife said, “Lie with me” (Gen 39:7,12), Joseph looked beyond the short-term pleasure to see the long-term consequences; he knew to rebuke her wickedness and then to run from her with no regard for propriety or safety.

She says, “Let us take our fill.” But there is no satisfying fulfillment. Sin never satisfies the soul, especially the soul of the righteous (Eccl 5:10). You will not find the pleasure you imagine. Amnon hated Tamar more than he had loved her, when the much-desired moment was over. Samson woke from tender arms to find darkness and weakness. The goodman eventually returns, and then what shall become of the young man (Pr 7:19-20)? He will find the painful emptiness of death, hell, and soul destruction (Pr 6:26-33).

She calls it “love.” And she and others like her speak and sing of it constantly. What can possibly be wrong with love? With love this tender and pleasant? With love this mutual and moving? But it is only lust, for love requires truth, righteousness, and commitment (I Cor 13:4-7; Song 8:6-8). Love desires the best for its object, not for itself; and a woman giving her body to you outside marriage is selfishly damning your soul to destruction.

She says, “Until the morning.” Will she love you differently tomorrow? Will tonight’s sin bring tomorrow’s reward? Will the night be without guilt and fear? And what will the morning bring? Peace and joy? No! The pleasures of sin are only for a season (Heb 11:25), and in sexual sins the season is shorter than most. What will morning bring? It will bring guilt, fear, confusion, doubts, insecurity, and frustration. Hate the night!

She says, “Let us solace ourselves with loves.” But there is no solace, no comfort or pleasure; for your guilt-stricken and fear-filled soul will devour you with pain and regret, even if you try to recall her tender embrace, as Samson discovered so painfully. There is no consolation or cheer with the uncertainty and guilt of a strange woman. What solace is there in walking on coals? Or taking fire in your bosom (Pr 6:27-28)?

Young man, she lies! She does not truly want you; she does not love you; she cannot satisfy you; short-term pleasure is hardly pleasure at all; and your soul will punish you far more than any pleasure she gives. You will lose your virtue and boldness, and all you will have for it is guilt, fear, shame, and regret. She lies! It is not love! It is lust and sex without love. She does not even know what love is, let alone have the ability to give it.

Destroy her power by taking this lesson to heart and making it an important rule of your life today (Pr 7:1-3). Make Lady Wisdom your favorite woman and constant companion, rather than the strange woman (Pr 7:4-5). Avoid places where she lives and works (Pr 4:15; 5:8; 7:8; Rom 13:14). And run from her at full speed (II Tim 2:22). Be like Joseph and spurn the woman, rather than have God spurn you for choosing the woman.

Young woman, men lie as well. They also can feign love for lust. Good men will pursue you through your father, and they will gladly wait for marriage. Reject any words of “love” until he has promised before many to be your committed husband for life. Many girls have given away what they cannot get back for the simple words, “I love you.”

But he lies! If he will steal this treasure from you before marriage, he is no better than Amnon, and the results will likely be the same (II Sam 13:1-17). He will not love you in the morning, for you will have given away your gift and cheapened yourself. Run to your father, and be safe. Do not hear or speak of love until your father approves marriage.

The Whore of Rome and her harlot daughters invite weak souls with such words, “Come to me, and I will solace you with the pleasures of my beautiful religion.” They decorate their beds with whorish care (Pr 7:16-17), only to seduce and trap vulnerable souls. But those who commit spiritual fornication with them shall be lost in the congregation of the dead and damned in this world and the next (Pr 21:16; II Thess 2:9-12).

Hold fast your profession of faith, making the true church of Jesus Christ the only object of your affection, avoiding any compromise toward the Whore’s wicked advances, and earnestly contending against her false doctrines. Be faithful to your glorious bridegroom, the true Lover of your soul, He Who is Faithful and True, the Lord Jesus Christ.