Marital Speech

THE FACT OF LIFE

1. Forget … the facts of life … or the birds and the bees … idioms for sexual instruction.
2. You need … the fact of life … to enhance your love, romance, and marriage pleasure.
   1. Dale Carnegie taught, “The sweetest sound in any language is a person’s own name.”
   2. Solomon, philosopher and practical teacher, stressed good speech as crucial wisdom.
   3. Why not try the first works of words rather than a new dress, hair style, or vacation?
3. It is a sure fact that both men and women are greatly affected by words spoken to them.
   1. Men are achievers, and they need it recognized by a woman who reverences them.
   2. Women are made for men and need verbal reassurance, sex is more words than act.
   3. Men that expect sex without words misuse their wives and turn good into cruelty.
   4. You have five senses, but the audio sense of hearing is often neglected or abused.
4. Seduction is achieved easily and most often by speech and words than any other ways.
   1. Learned men know the ‘L’ word is the fastest way to win a woman for good or bad.
   2. Wise parents limit their daughter’s communication and warn about oral seduction.
   3. Words are the most powerful tool a woman has for love, not her body or its offer, especially if a real relationship or love is the goal, not mere mating like animals.
   4. Think about … texts, calls, emails, notes, cards, whispers, adoration, promises, etc.
   5. Never before, not even close, can a person send/receive words with any other person.
5. Rejection and hurt and pain are also accomplished quickly and lastingly by words said.
   1. Love, joy, hope, and peace are replaced by pain by cruel, critical, or resisting speech.
   2. Women have their souls sliced by comparisons, criticisms, negativity, and harshness
   3. Men have been broken, hurt, neutered, and angered by saucy, nagging resistance.
   4. Judging by appearance sees the man’s reaction, but misses the woman’s provocation.
6. Words are incredibly powerful, and how they are presented can enhance them further.
   1. Attentive, kind, loving words can fill the soul with love and joy to respond strongly.
   2. Cruel, harsh, critical, negative, saucy, sarcastic, resisting words can crush the spirit.
   3. Logical discussion as if marriage were business with critical suggestions is hopeless.
7. Think about this for enough seconds or minutes to grasp the romantic power of speech.
   1. Harsh words during the day … yet expecting passionate sex at night … is violence.
   2. Criticism of a husband, no matter how minor, is part why he is not the man you wish.
   3. Resisting a husband is like speaking evil of dignities or despising dominion. Beware!
   4. Lack of loving words, without violent words, is inadequate and can destroy the spirit.
8. Communication may be the most important factor for maximizing love and marriage.
   1. The lack of communication causes so many problems that could easily be solved.
   2. Critical, harsh, negative, and other abusive communication causes many problems.
   3. Withholding information is cruel and counterproductive and not friendly (Jn 15:15).
   4. Businesslike talk in marriage is inadequate and defrauds and disrespects a spouse.
9. Some are born to cruel or harsh parents; some never had a cruel spirit or speech crushed.
   1. They are raised like junkyard dogs – hearing and seeing conflict that perverts love.
   2. They are not lovers by emotional / social genes, habits, ignorance. Learn divine truth.
   3. They think their speech okay by habit, sinful lusts, or a selfish concept of principle.
   4. They want others to accept them as they are; God demands you be what He expects.
   5. By nature you will never speak right or righteous, so it must be taught and embraced.
10. You can change your speech … today … by the power of God’s Spirit and His words.
    1. Your spouse hopes you will change, because of the pain they have never told you.
    2. We hope you will change, because we can see your spouse’s face and countenance.
    3. If saved, you have God’s Spirit for the power and His word for plenty of wisdom.
11. You better change your speech … today … for God will judge now and/or later for it.
    1. You do not have any right to continue your foolish and sinful habits – repent today.
    2. You lose by being the selfish, stubborn spouse you are, and you cost others. Beware!
    3. Do not wait for your spouse to change, selfish. Change yourself to change a spouse.
12. No two people are alike – every snowflake is different – so you must learn two people.
    1. First, you must learn yourself, that you have temperamental faults that are noxious.
    2. Second, you must learn your spouse temperamentally, so you respond as they desire.
    3. The combination of two selfish souls requires sacrificial desire for the other’s best.
    4. The combination of two selfish souls resulting in sinful passion or pleasure is lust.
13. They say, Familiarity breeds contempt, and we know there is an element of truth to it.
    1. It is a shame most spouses address each other with less carefulness than any others.
    2. Avoiding this requires a very conscientious and dedicated effort to exalt your spouse.
    3. Such a conscience and dedication comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God.
    4. If in a situation with no alternatives and you needed your spouse, you would love.
    5. We say, Love the One You’re With … https://www.letgodbetrue.com/pdf/love-the-one-youre-with.pdf.
14. Every spouse knows how to apply the Bible’s general rules for speech and for marriage.
    1. You likely address any others outside your marriage with more kindness and respect.
    2. You likely require your children to address siblings better than you may your spouse.
    3. If your spouse were taken away (God forbid), you know how to win another, for you applied complimentary and kind words very effectively to get your present one!
    4. You innately grasp the old adage, You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
    5. You know the rule, If you cannot think of something nice to say, say nothing at all.
    6. The idea of saying whatever comes to mind whenever you feel it is lunacy of idiots.
    7. You know that complimenting another person attracted to you also gets you rewards.
    8. You did not need a seduction seminar to get a spouse – think how idiotic the idea.

THE BIBLE ABOUT SPEECH IN GENERAL

1. When the Bible teaches speech in general for good or evil, we will apply it to marriage.
2. James saw a fire (3:5-6), world of iniquity (3:6), defiles the whole body (3:6), sets on fire the course of nature (3:6), set on fire of hell (3:6), untamable (3:7), unruly evil (3:8), full of deadly poison (3:8), bless God and curse spouse (3:9), sweet and bitter (3:11).
3. Let us raise just a few more of the many warnings in the Bible about speech in general.
   1. Remember, the warnings may be general, but they surely apply to you and marriage.
   2. If you are a wife, do not answer again, just like your husband does not (Titus 2:9).
   3. Let your speech as a Christian spouse always be gracious (Colossians 4:6; Ec 10:12).
   4. You shall give account of every idle word, including in your marriage (Matt 12:36).
   5. A spouse offended is harder to be won than a walled city (Proverbs 18:19; Col 3:19).
   6. A friendly spouse tells all; an enemy in your bed withholds (John 15:15; I Sam 18:1).
   7. Name-calling without a tsunami of godly cause is murder (Matt 5:21-26; I Pet 3:9).
   8. Quick, retorting speech is stupid and wrong (Prov 14:29; 29:20; Eccl 7:9; Jas 1:19)
   9. Dutiful or willing is not cheerfulness or passion and unacceptable (Mal 1:6-14; S.S.).
   10. Foolish talking or jesting is not martially convenient (Pr 10:23; 26:19; Eph 5:3-5).
4. Your words are either life or death, pleasure or pain, health or poison to your spouse.
5. What are you going to do about it? Everyone can do better. Change your wicked habits.
6. Embrace the lovemaking power of your lips, mouth, and tongue by passionate words.
7. Consider a few of Solomon’s warnings about speech in the book of prudence, Proverbs.

1.  Froward is naughty and wicked (6:12)	22. Joy and good with exclamation (15:23)
2.  Hate froward words (8:13)	23. Speaking right delights kings (16:13)
3.   Blessings or violence (10:6)	24. Sweet to soul and health to bones (16:24)
4.  Well of life or violence (10:11)	25. Burning fire (16:27)
5.   Destruction or life (10:14)	26. Lips bring evil to pass (16:30)
6.  Refraining is wisdom (10:19)	27. Finds no good; falls into mischief (17:20)
7.   Choice silver or little worth (10:20)	28. Less is more (17:28)
8.  Wisdom or should be cut out (10:31)	29. Deep water and flowing brook (18:4)
9.  Acceptable or forward (10:32)	30. Contention and strokes (18:6)
10. Hypocrites destroy (11:9)	31. Destruction and snare (18:7)
11. Overthrow the relationship (11:11)	32. Satisfied and filled (18:20)
12. Lie in wait for blood (12:6)	33. Death or life (18:21)
13. Create a snare or avoid trouble (12:13)	34. Devours iniquity (19:28)
14. Satisfied with good (12:14)	35. Precious jewel (20:15)
15. Sword or health (12:18)	36. Soul without trouble (21:23)
16. Lift a heavy heart and make it glad (12:25)	37. Gracious is friendly (22:11)
17. Eat good or violence (13:2)	38. Worthy of kiss on lips (24:26)
18. Keep life or destroy it (13:3)	39. Soft tongue breaks bones (25:15)
19. Preservation or rod of pride (14:3)	40. Potsherd with silver dross (26:23)
20. Knowledge aright or pour out folly (15:2)	41. Hatred and ruin (26:28)
21. Tree of life or breach in the spirit (15:4)	42. Rebuke trumps flattery (28:23)

 

THE BIBLE ABOUT SPEECH FOR LOVE

1. How did Shechem win Dinah? He spake kindly to the damsel (Gen 34:3). This is basic!
   1. This is the same way that men have won maids throughout human history (Pr 30:19).
   2. Kind. Naturally well-disposed; having a gentle, sympathetic, or benevolent nature; ready to assist, or show consideration for, others; generous, liberal, courteous.
   3. The Bible gives other examples of kind, comforting speech (II Sam 19:7; Hos 2:14).
   4. This is how a man seduces or wins a woman; we only mean this virtuously for good.
   5. Protect Dinah from kind Shechems … https://www.letgodbetrue.com/pdf/protecting-our-daughters.pdf.
2. How does a woman seduce a man? And though used for sin, the examples are powerful.
   1. Adulteresses and whores seduce men by flattery (Prov 2:16; 5:3; 6:24; 7:5; 22:14).
   2. A woman’s words have great power, not just her body (Pr 7:21-22,26 cp Pr 7:15,18).
   3. A wife can learn womanly arts to use virtuously and passionately for her husband.
   4. A husband can renew the art of seduction like Shechem for winning his wife again.
3. Remember … the fact of life … now you have your experience confirmed by scripture.
   1. Any man can win a woman, or vice versa, by gently using kind and adoring words.
   2. Because we are Christians, this power and skill is only to be used for and in marriage.
   3. Never before were words sent or received so easily with anyone, anywhere, anytime.
   4. This can bring enormous temptation or abuse but also and rather marital opportunity.
4. Note how poor speech, harsh or irritating words, can cost men and women everything.
   1. How can a beauty queen be a 2000 lb. filthy, grunting, and stinking sow (Pr 11:22)?
   2. What can the world not stand, regardless of shape, hair, or makeup (Prov 30:21-23)?
   3. What can a man do to lose his wife, his life, then his wife to his enemy (I Sam 25)?

 

BIBLE RULES & EXAMPLES

1. Wives must reverence husbands; it is no suggestion; it is God’s rule for you (Eph 5:33).
   1. One of the easiest ways – what you should do with parents and bosses – is by words.
   2. God chose Sarah’s example for it – my lord – in her heart (I Peter 3:5-6; Gen 18:12).
   3. For much more about I Peter 3:5-6 … https://www.letgodbetrue.com/pdf/first-peter-three.pdf.
   4. Nagging, resisting, explaining is toxic, not helpful (Pr 19:13; 21:1,19; 25:24; 27:15).
   5. Check out Proverb commentaries … https://www.letgodbetrue.com/proverbs/commentaries/19_13.php.
2. Husbands must honor wives; it is not a suggestion; it is God’s rule for you (I Peter 3:6).
   1. One of the easiest ways – what you should do with parents and bosses – is by words.
   2. Knowledgeable men know it, because of her weakness; she is your equal to God.
   3. For much more about I Peter 3:7 … https://www.letgodbetrue.com/pdf/first-peter-three.pdf.
   4. Lord! Think about your pet hind and pleasant roe (Pr 5:19). How do you treat her?
   5. For more about Proverbs 5:19 … https://www.letgodbetrue.com/proverbs/commentaries/05_19.php.
3. A wife is to obey and submit her desire to her husband (Gen 3:16; Tit 2:5; Ep 5:22-24).
   1. These verses and the rules for wives are inspired from heaven, so how will you talk?
   2. Think the military. How should privates speak to sergeants? Sergeants to captains?
   3. Think family. How should your child think and talk about you in private or public?
   4. Think masters. How do you as a wife verbally respect and honor your boss, his boss?
   5. Think rulers. How does a man, or how would he, address the governor or president?
   6. Violations of language protocol bring anger, bitterness, and revenge. It is your fault!
4. A husband is to cherish and nourish his wife to make her a glorious wife (Eph 5:25-29)
   1. These verses and rules for husbands are inspired from heaven, so how will you talk?
   2. To nourish a person is to provide the words, support, and opportunities to flourish.
   3. To cherish a person is to treat them as very special and worthy of doting affection.
   4. To love your wife as yourself is to be excessively protective and ambitious for her.
   5. To give yourself for your wife is to spare no cost, effort, or time to make her perfect.
5. It has been said, A couple that prays together stays together, but it is better (Matt 18:19).
6. There are spiritual consequences of marriage dysfunction that wise spouses will avoid.
   1. It does not matter if you do other things well but neglect passion here (Hag 2:10-19).
   2. God sees a wife’s need for food, raiment, and sex … let alone any abuse (Ex 21:10).
   3. God sees a wife’s tears, inside or out, for marital pain, and rejects men (Mal 2:13).
   4. A man not honoring his wife, sounds quite innocent, has prayers hindered (I Pet 3:7).
   5. If God protects women, made for men (Gen 2:18), He will protect husbands as well.
   6. Dysfunctional marriages allow blasphemy by family or others (Tit 2:5; I Tim 5:14).
   7. We have long seen Matthew 12:7 or Mark 2:27 to allow divorce for neglect or abuse.

 

THE BIBLE ABOUT SPOUSAL SPEECH

1. The book of the Bible dealing most fully with speech is easily Solomon’s Proverbs.
   1. God inspired Solomon to give short observations and rules about the effect of words.
   2. Solomon knew much of relationships (David’s family) and marriage (1000 women).
   3. Our Proverb commentaries about speech provide terrific advice to learn to practice.
   4. If words affect relationships, they can affect the most intimate relationship the most.
   5. The points below expand on the succinct and pithy sayings of Solomon about speech.
   6. Proverb commentaries about speech … https://www.letgodbetrue.com/proverbs/topics/speech.php.
2. If Prov 12:18 is true, you can neuter a spouse or inspire to passionate eagerness (here).
   1. If you trust God’s words, then you must carefully grasp the opposing clauses here.
   2. Words either cut a spouse down or build them up, making a marriage better or worse.
   3. Let the verse create three options – hurtful speech, helpful speech, neutral speech.
   4. Think wisely that the neutral speech in between may not cut but neither does it build.
   5. A marital truce of partnership, going through the motions, without hurting, destroys.
   6. Our goal is passion of Solomon’s Song; they had no truce, only obsessive romance.
   7. A man or woman encouraged by kind, loving, and romantic words will do anything.
   8. A confident woman will do anything for her man, but criticism can steal her vitality.
   9. A confident man is a leader/lover, but answering again causes bitterness or revenge.
   10. Simply remember how you dated and that you promised a spouse to do such forever.
   11. Praising a woman can give her confidence, energy, and joy; it is an easy aphrodisiac.
   12. Criticizing a wife creates fear, insecurity, self-protection; it is a sure anaphrodisiac.
   13. If this verse is true, and it is, then your words can have a dramatic romantic effect.
   14. What if you do not slice (in your view), but neither do you dote or praise like a lover?
   15. Men that do not compliment, dote, or praise … but are critical or often suggestive of doing better without strong approval or acceptance … starve a wife’s spirit to death.
   16. Women that do not revile their husbands … but are critical, resistant, and wish their life was different … destroy a man’s romantic soul and consign themselves to prison.
   17. Intelligent adults should not need details after visualizing three options by this verse.
   18. You have the spouse you chose out of the whole world – revive romance with words.
   19. Do not think you are okay by sheathing the sword – copy Solomon’s Song for love.
   20. Love in marriage is primarily a positive action of aggressive pursuit and affection.
3. If Proverbs 18:21 is true, you can kill or revive your marriage; it is a sure thing (here).
   1. If you trust God’s words, you must wisely believe certain consequences of words.
   2. This lesson warns of results on the speaker by the second clause and previous verse.
   3. There is power in speech, and you will eat the consequences of how you use words.
   4. Words either add vitality to your marital life or sap the life right out of your romance.
   5. You should consider three options – hurtful speech, helpful speech, neutral speech.
   6. You can make marriage exciting for yourself or you can rip the pleasure out of it.
   7. Or you slowly starve the passion and romance out of your marriage by neutral words.
   8. How you use your tongue – for death or life – will come back to bless or hurt you.
4. If Proverbs 18:19 is true, and you have been married a while, there are likely bars (here).
   1. This lesson does not justify lack of forgiveness, but warns about offending friends.
   2. Intimacy, time, and vulnerability of marriage means you have most likely offended.
   3. In marriage, a person gives him or herself up in all ways; offences hurt very much.
   4. The close contact, constant contact, and inability to escape make offences painful.
   5. You proudly assume a Christian spouse should forgive you, but they assumed you would not hurt them, especially since you promised to love in the strongest of terms.
   6. The text says brother; if true of a blood brother, then what of marriage to an outsider.
   7. Love is passionate pursuit to win a spouse, but it warns that offences mean you lose.
   8. It is not enough to say you are sorry for words hastily or harshly used. It takes more.
   9. Waiting will not take the bars away, they simply withdraw from sight a little way.
   10. You will have to prove your change by great effort, great creativity, and some time.
   11. There is nothing wrong with repeating an apology – fools presume once is enough.
   12. The Bible gives several remedies (Prov 15:1; 19:11; 21:14; Matt 5:23-24; 18:15-17).
   13. How good are you at confessing your faults and thoroughly undoing hurt by words?
   14. Ultimate romance has no bars at all, so you must win your spouse again and fully.
5. If Proverbs 25:15 is true, you can win an offended spouse and restore romance (here).
   1. Even a ruler can be won with patience and gentle speech (Pr 15:1; 16:13-14; 22:11).
   2. If you think you can force others by defrauding, hardness, or volume, you are wrong.
   3. Long forbearing is not how long you do nothing but how long you endure resistance.
   4. Marriage is for a long time, so you have time to practice this verse like a real lover.
6. If Proverbs 21:23 is true, ruling your words will keep trouble out of your marriage (here).
   1. If the previous verses – 12:18; 18:21; 18:19; 25:15 – scare you, do not sin by words.
   2. Words have power and terrible consequences, if you do not strictly rule your speech.
   3. If you have anger, criticism, disrespect, sarcasm, or whining, then stop and grow up.
   4. Even foolish talking and jesting should be strongly rejected (Ep 5:3-5; Pr 26:18-19).
   5. Allowing yourself to say anything that comes to mind is pure folly (Pr 12:13; 15:2).
   6. Only a fool assumes a spouse is used to him and accepts immature or painful speech.
   7. All children and youth should practice (and be required to practice) with siblings.
   8. Gauge potential spouses by speech (Pr 11:16,22; 24:26; 30:23; 31:26; Ec 10:12-14).
7. If Proverbs 18:20 is true, then use of words can fill your life and satisfy your soul (here).
   1. You can change your marriage to make you happier by changing your speech habits.
   2. If you do not consider these words carefully, then you are neglecting divine wisdom.
   3. There are layers of benefits – your spouse will be happier and your conscience free.
8. If Proverbs 18:7 is true, then poor use of words can destroy romance and trap you (here).
   1. Very close in context, the adjoining verse says words cause fights and beg a beating.
   2. If your marriage no longer thrills you, check your speech and measure it by lovers.
   3. Forget what you think about romantic speech and try to measure by Solomon’s Song.
   4. You may only think back a month or year, but what of words said long before that.
9. If Proverbs 16:24 is true, you can add sweetness and vitality to your marriage (here).
   1. Read the text, believe the text, read the commentary, and then embrace the potential.
   2. Is your marriage sick and/or sour to the extent that one or both spouses think it dead.
   3. There is a cure! Believe it! God knows more about love and romance than any man.
   4. Start talking kindly to each other. Say some nice things you have not in a long time.
   5. The result is as sure as gravity – it will put sweetness and vitality in a spouse’s heart.
10. If Proverbs 16:23 is true, you can change your speech and learn to be a real lover (here).
    1. The reason to preach God’s word is the opportunity to learn and receive the reward.
    2. A fool hears God’s lessons of wisdom and does not change his conduct (Ja 1:21-25).
    3. God in mercy has given you this opportunity to learn and improve marital speech.
    4. The Bible is full of hope by content (II Ti 3:16-17) and promised power (Phil 4:13).
    5. You should love and practice marital precepts as much as any other (Ps 119:128).
11. If Proverbs 15:4 is true, you add life to your marriage or break a spouse’s spirit (here).
    1. If you trust God’s words, then you must carefully grasp the opposing clauses here.
    2. Wholesome speech, like nutritious food, supplies life and vitality to a spouse’s spirit.
    3. What is wholesome speech? Words that are accepting, gentle, kind, loving, praising.
    4. Perverse speech, like any corruption, can destroy and undermine a spouse’s spirit.
    5. You can make or break your spouse’s heart to lose thrice with them, God, and you.
    6. What is perverse speech? Words that cut, denigrate, hurt, compare, disappoint, etc.
12. If Proverbs 12:25 is true, you can lift your spouse’s heart, and they can lift yours (here).
    1. Two are better than one, especially in marriage, to lift one another up (Eccl 4:9-12).
    2. What is the cheapest and easiest gift? A kind word. Free to give, but fabulous to get.
    3. Every spouse will get discouraged at times, but a good word can lift a spouse up.
    4. Much could be said here … for it is about the heart and the power of a good word.
13. If Proverbs 10:11 is true, then a marriage will have vivaciousness or violence (here).
    1. A righteous spouse will have a heart directing his/her words to be vivaciously good.
    2. A wicked spouse will have a heart directing his/her words to cause violence instead.
14. If Proverbs 24:26 is true, then anyone can be won, especially your easy spouse (here).
    1. Kissing should be a big part of marriage, and it is justified by appropriate answers.
    2. The proverb and its lesson are for those that ordinary would not kiss, but then would.
    3. A dysfunctional marriage allows harsh or sarcastic speech that does the opposite.

 

SONG OF SOLOMON

1. God inspired a book of marital passion to describe romantic love no matter how applied.
2. Both spouses said much about each other, but they also said many things to each other.
   1. True love speaks passionately about the person they picked from the whole world.
   2. True love speaks passionately to the person they picked for words’ romantic power.
   3. No one is perfect, but loves means you overlook imperfection to exalt the positive.
   4. You have five senses, but the audio sense of hearing is often neglected or abused.
   5. A large part of this love song is made up of words spoken about and/or to each other.
3. She spoke to him … 1:3 … all the women love you … 1:7 … no one compares to you.
4. He spoke to her … 1:8 … fairest among women … 1:9 … you are like a stunning thing.
5. She spoke to him … 2:16 … you are mine; I am yours … 2:17 … make love all night.
6. He spoke to her … 2:10 … my love, let’s get away … 2:14 … let me see and hear you.
7. She spoke … 3:1 … I want him in bed … 3:4 … I would not let him go until fully happy.
8. He spoke … 4:1 … you are totally beautiful … 4:7 … body, face, and hair are perfect 4:9 … you overwhelm my heart with love … 4:10 … making love with you is exquisite!
9. She spoke … 4:16 … take all you want, babe … 5:4 … my stomach turns for him … 5:8 … I am sick with need for his love … 5:16 … he is perfectly lovely in every way.
10. He spoke … 6:9 … there is no one like her … 6:13 … hurry home, I want to see you … 7:1 … the curves of your hips are fabulous … 7:6 … your body blows my mind!
11. She spoke … 7:10 … I am his; he wants me … 8:1 … I wish I could take you anywhere.
12. They are madly in love with each other with raging passion that transcends all (8:6-7).
13. She is an adoring, aggressive, erotic, flattering, initiating, praising, passionate, and romantic lover … with words … making herself available for him or chasing him down.
14. He matches her every verbal way, doting with encouraging comparisons and superlative praise for her appearance in the details, her eyes, her speech, her lovemaking, etc.

PRACTICAL APPLICATION

1. If a wife would never talk back, like employees never talking back, life could be sweet.
   1. An odious woman married is one of the things the earth cannot bear (Pr 30:21-23).
   2. All she must do is practice simple Bible duties of obedience, submission, reverence.
   3. If she would give him the attention she gives to a boss or boss’s boss, it would work.
   4. If she cheerfully and verbally agreed with his suggestions as she once did, love wins.
   5. Answering again is a terrible cause of conflict, bitterness, and then revenge (Tit 2:9).
   6. The Bible puts a woman’s submission first because it is critically necessary to start.
   7. Every wife that makes her husband’s job difficult will answer for it now and later.
   8. She will be an unsatisfied and lonely creature in the meantime without real friends.
   9. Why can’t a wife simply be an agreeable cheerleader like she was before marriage?
2. If your husband attempts to be Manager of Conflict Resolution, you should help him.
   1. A man should lead the event with gentleness and love controlling the confrontation.
   2. A wife should respond with great humility, receptiveness, and cooperation to settle.
   3. Her husband has the right to follow-up and expect a wife’s compliance or enforce it.
   4. Every wife that makes her husband’s job difficult will answer for it now and later.
   5. Some understate in confrontation; others overstate; wise women react accordingly.
   6. As much as a wife wants children to cooperate, she should cooperate with her man.
3. There is no real place in marriage for a truce, because marriage is far beyond a cold war.
   1. A truce means there has been war, and a truce means the war is swept under the rug.
   2. Too many couples have cold wars that reduce a marriage to perfunctory partnership.
   3. A marriage conflict should be resolved 100% and full love restored with first works.
   4. The Bible does not suggest against fighting or hatred – it commands loving passion.
4. Put another way, your effort in marriage must go far beyond not doing anything wrong.
   1. Spouses that do not abuse each other but are far from original romance are wrong.
   2. They are sinfully comfortable with marital bitterness or defrauding of various kinds.
   3. The Bible has too much to say and in too strong of terms to settle for the status quo.
   4. The wife is commanded to love and reverence: these are not lack of hate and railing.
   5. The husband is ordered to cherish and nourish: these are not lack of hate and hurt.

A FEW IDEAS

 

What should a man stop thinking?

That she can read your mind.	I will tell her how to think.	Words are not very important.
That she thinks at all like you.	Her desires/opinions are wrong.	She should know me by now.
That logical explanations help.	I do not need her contribution.	I can let my hair down at home.
That you can force love/respect.	She already knows I love her.	That she is used to poor treatment.
That she accepts your faults/sins.	She knows I appreciate her.	That she accepts you just as you are.
That a Bible lesson will cure all.	She knows I think her body ok.
That engineers have love skills.	She knows I am thankful for her.
I told her exactly what I wanted.	Sex with me needs no words.

 

What should a woman stop thinking?

He already knows I appreciate him.	Friends and partners don’t submit.
That Bible reverence is extreme.	Flattery is a sin, so I will refrain.
Other spheres is apples to oranges.
The man should always initiate sex.
My willingness is a great woman.
If I always submit, I will get hurt.
If I trust him, he will take us down.
He needs me to remind all the time.

 

What could a man say to his wife?

I love you.	What would you like to do?	I am glad you are my wife.
I am sorry.	I was wrong.	I want to learn you better.
You are gorgeous.	You were right.	No one else has what I have.
I miss you.	I’m listening.	You look, feel like a teenager.
What are you thinking?	Let me get that for you.	Wow!
Thank you.	I need you.	How was your day?
Where would you like to go?	You only in the world matter.	I handled it.
How would you like it tonight?	You are an amazing woman.	You are more than enough for me.

 

What could a woman say to her husband?

I love you.	You are a great leader.	You look awesome in that.
I need you.	I admire you.	Our bed is my favorite place ever.
I miss you.	I feel safe with you.	I am sorry.
I adore you.	You were right. I was wrong.	I forgive you. Forget it.
I thank God for you.	I am sorry for ever resisting you.	I love doing anything with you.
You are the best man I know.	I appreciate all you do for us.	You still take my breath away.
I am the happiest woman alive.	I am glad I married you.	You are the world’s best lover.
I trust you.	You are an awesome man of God	I am happy just being with you.