To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.
Men love the praise of a woman. They crave female flattery. It is even more exciting when the adoration comes from a new woman, a beautiful woman, or a popular woman. Wicked women use this male vulnerability to seduce men into adultery and fornication.
Young men must be taught against the seducing power and grave danger of a whore’s praise. With modern means to flatter by email, text, tweet, or call, the danger is greater than ever. Since many women lack a conscience or sexual inhibition today, sexting being an example, young men must learn to get completely away from such girls and women.
King Solomon, being a good and wise father, sought to prepare his son for the throne of Israel. Knowing that power is one of the greatest aphrodisiacs and motives for corrupt women, he warned his son often about the danger of enticing words from a strange woman – any woman he had not married (Pr 2:16; 5:3; 7:5,13-21; 22:14; 29:5). He knew the thrill of praise from a woman, implying her desire for intimacy, was a great threat.
An evil woman will go to bed with a man she has not married; she is an adulteress or a whore. She is a strange woman, because she has no right to his marriage bed (Heb 13:4). There are women, and more today than ever, that think lightly of sexual purity or loyalty. Virginity at marriage is mocked, and affairs after marriage are justified. Such women prey on noble and successful men, especially kings’ sons (Pr 6:26; 7:26; 23:27-28).
These evil women have only a few techniques, which wise men learn to identify and avoid. First, they expose and emphasize their feminine beauty and shape by immodest dress or conduct to capture his eyes (Pr 6:25; 7:10; Is 3:16). Since men are stimulated by sight, this is a great temptation and lays the initial foundation for sin. Wise men avoid the presence of immodest women and reject any lust for those they cannot avoid (Pr 5:8).
Second, these women use their eyes to admire a man and show their willingness to be his sexual partner. The use of eyes this way is often called “bedroom eyes.” Evil women know how to signal a man that they want him, and few men can resist the look (Pr 6:25; Is 3:16). Boys learn very early in life how pleasant it is for a girl to look at them affectionately. Noble men do not allow such eye contact with any woman but their wives.
The third trick is flattering speech to break down a man’s resistance and close in for the sexual kill. Immodest attire tempts men at a distance without involvement. Eye contact is usually the first personal connection that begins the seduction. But intimate words confirm the willingness, express desire in more detail, and persuade the man to yield. If a man has foolishly allowed a woman to get this far, it is unlikely he will be able to stop.
How powerful are words from a woman? Far more than most imagine! Consider Samson. Though he knew Delilah intended to destroy him, due to his three tests that she flunked terribly, he could not resist her daily pressing him with enticing words (Judges 16:1-21). It is hard to believe the world’s strongest man went down so easily to a proven liar from a pagan nation. Her sweet words in his ears never mentioned his future as a blind grinder!
Safety from flattery is simple – do not talk more than necessary with women. Cut off any woman that is too complimentary or friendly in her words. This includes texts, emails, and phone calls, where men can be seduced by words without seeing a woman’s body or having eye contact. If this requires avoiding family friends, changing jobs, or other drastic measures, they should be considered (Matt 5:28-30; Rom 13:14; II Tim 2:22).
Young men must be taught to dislike and avoid girls that are forward in speech or conduct. Immodest attire and bold faces usually identify them, but not always. From a young age, both parents should warn their sons that forward girls are evil and dangerous. Specific examples from school, the neighborhood, relatives, or other sources should be used to illustrate and train sons to despise this threat to their virtue and success.
Wise parents recognize from the warning in this proverb that restricting and/or monitoring conversations with girls is important to protect sons from fornication. The telephone is a boon to business and interpersonal communication, but it poses a new threat to young men. The cell phone, or the sin phone in many cases, provides a vehicle for communication that is much harder to restrict or monitor. Parents, beware!
Only foolish parents focus on unchaperoned dating or other obvious opportunities for sexual intimacy. Wise parents will seek to cut off the flattering conversations that seduce hearts and fuel desires before a couple has even been alone together. They know that the sexual stimulus and emotional appeal of lengthy conversations, emails, or text messages can steal hearts and morals long before two young people find a way to be alone.
Young women should be taught to never flirt with words, letters, cards, notes, phone calls, emails, or text messages until they are married. They should know flattering words are for their husbands, not ploys to tease, seduce, or frustrate men. They should be taught the meek, quiet, and shamefaced character the Bible requires (I Tim 2:9-10; I Pet 3:3-4). Godly mothers will also illustrate and teach how to use words to please their husbands.
Men also flatter and use words to disarm and take advantage of girls and women. It happens a million times a day. The emphasis in Proverbs is the danger of wicked women, because it was written by a father for his son’s safety and success. But to fully apply the wisdom here, girls and women should be even more careful, as sweet-talking men that give the slightest hint of seeking sexual favors are to be avoided and despised.
Godly wives learn from this proverb that they can use kind words and praise to build up their husbands and be better lovers. Many Christian wives are too ignorant, prudish, or bitter to verbally adore their husbands, which leaves those husbands vulnerable to worldly women that instinctively use flattery. A Christian wife should have the ability and ambition to beat the strange woman at her own game when it comes to her husband.
Good words and fair speeches are used for more than sexual sins. Paul warned that they are also used to entice Christians into false doctrine (Rom 16:17-18). False teachers will not tell you that they want to mislead you from the truth. They do just the opposite. They sound as sincere and Scriptural as possible. And they often promise many spiritual blessings and benefits in their religion. What is your best protection? Prove all things by the word of God and reject every false idea (Ps 119:128; Acts 17:11; I Thess 5:21).