Gracious or Odious

Proverbs 11:16Proverbs 30:21-23
Great ListenerGreat Talker
Very ThankfulBarely Thankful
Grateful for correctionDefensive against correction
Listens with eyes, ears, mind, and bodyThinking of what to say when she gets to talk
Calm and collectedJesting, babbling, and talking to fill gaps
Remembers good details past and present about othersPreoccupied with self and her present and future
Willing to do anything cheerfullyGrudgingly participates or rejects activity
Modest and self-debasingConfident and proud of self
Forgives instantly and fullyUnforgiving or grudgingly so
Genuinely interested in anotherPreoccupied with self
Thoughtfully kind to never offendTends to be abrupt and inconsiderate
AccommodatingDemanding, asking, expecting
Meek and reticent about praiseExpects and absorbs praise
“You look very nice this morning.”“Are you ill? You look somewhat sickly.”
“That is a beautiful dress.”“There is a spot on your collar.”
“Those candies were the nicest gift.”“My favorite kind has peanuts.”
“My husband is a wonderful man.”“He never notices or does anything nice for me.”
“You did an excellent job with the children tonight.”“I wish you wouldn’t take so long with devotions.”
“What can I do to help with your hunting trip tomorrow?”“Why do you have to go hunting every Saturday?”
“May I go to the gun show with you today?”“You just went to a gun show two months ago.”
“We had a wonderful trip. Thank you for asking.”“I threw up on the plane, and the hotel was dirty.”
“The sermon was very good and convicting today.”“Aren’t we ever going to get out of Luke?”
Immediate and profuse thankfulnessDisconnected and minimal thankfulness
Often sends a Thank you card laterSeldom thinks of a card for smaller things
Believes she is not graciousBelieves she is gracious
Never presumes or asks for favorsEasily presumes and asks and expects
Never gets angry or ruffled or stiff or offendedEasily gets angry, ruffled, stiff, and offended
Never speaks sarcastically or cuttingEasily gets sarcastic or cutting
Willingly participates in group eventsShows dislike of choice or withdraws from group
Very attentive and giving to inferiorsCondescending, formal and haughty to inferiors
Her delightfully charming presence shinesHer harsh, edgy, hard, critical presence darkens
Easily overlooks and ignores others’ faultsVerbally criticizes or bodily condemns for faults
Wouldn’t cause a scene for any amount of moneyEasily makes a scene for “principle” and no money
Smiles, laughs, comforts a waitress who spills her wineFrowns, criticizes, complains, and ruins evening
Cheerfully greets husband two hours late from workDoes not greet him, complains, and punishes him
Never demands or expects an apology for faults or failuresExpects, requests, demands an apology or punishes
Willing to eat French fries when she ordered rice pilafDemands her rice and slams waitress for evening
Cheerfully changes when husband dislikes her favorite outfitMakes excuses, complains, and wears it anyway
Enjoys taking the extra 10 minutes to talk to the elderlyCuts conversation short and complains anyway
Forgives in an instant and says apology was not necessaryPunishes, forgives slowly, criticizes, and reminds
Never interrupts conversations to correct or add factsInterrupts husband or others for trivial corrections
Never says or repeats things about others who are absentEasily whispers and slights others not present
Always has time for anyone and everyoneToo busy and pressed to be attentive or helpful
Others say, “She is such a beautiful and wonderful woman.”Others say, “That’s Brenda. Try to overlook it.”
Others say, “It is so pleasant and fun going out with her.”Others say, “I’d rather not go, if she’s coming.”
Men say, “Women like her are one in a million.”Men say, “Can you imagine living with that?”
Always turns conversations to talk about the other personTurns or allows conversations to center on herself
I forgive you; forget about it; I’ve already forgotten about it.Do you know how much you hurt me?


Examine Yourself – Are You Gracious or Odious?

DIRECTIONS: Put a G for graciousness or an O for odiousness beside each statement.

____ 1. Tends to talk long and loud.
____ 2. Cheerfully changes, if her husband dislikes her outfit or meal plans.
____ 3. Has few friends that really crave her presence.
____ 4. Thinks they are gracious.
____ 5. Says, “I am sorry,” quickly and easily.
____ 6. Father is sure the kids can handle his calling them names.
____ 7. Verbally thankful with sincere repetitions.
____ 8. Others say, “That’s Brenda. Try to overlook it.”
____ 9. Interrupts husband or others for trivial corrections.
____ 10. Willing to eat French-fries when she ordered rice pilaf.
____ 11. When offered candy, she says, “My favorite kind has caramel.”
____ 12. Never gets angry, ruffled, stiff, or offended.
____ 13. Thinks that wife and children accept his harshness.
____ 14. Asks nosy questions with the intent of “helping.”
____ 15. Sends thank you cards and notes like breathing.
____ 16. Has a suggestion or three when visiting married children.
____ 17. Takes a quiz like this and does not change a thing.
____ 18. Chooses a restaurant but tells the kitchen how to cook.
____ 19. Easily overlooks and ignores others’ faults.
____ 20. Has an opinion when it was not asked for.
____ 21. Speaks roughly to his children to show control.
____ 22. She thinks she is her husband’s second conscience or mother.
____ 23. Apologetic and thankful when corrected
____ 24. Rules moods or pain so that no one ever sees either.
____ 25. Critical and complains.
____ 26. Defensive about correction.
____ 27. Never asks embarrassing or forward questions.
____ 28. Never says or repeats things about others who are absent.
____ 29. Intense and cannot relax and chill out without doing something.
____ 30. Stares instead of helping carry conversation.
____ 31. Patient listener that agrees and smiles.
____ 32. Opinionated.
____ 33. Forgives others instantly and fully.
____ 34. When meeting a person, “There’s a spot on your collar.”
____ 35. Efficient, business-like, and formal about everything.
____ 36. Shows dislike of group decision or activity.
____ 37. Always wants to “help” by sticking nose in.
____ 38. Smiles, laughs, and comforts waitress who spills her drink.
____ 39. Never demands or expects an apology.
____ 40. Wife says, “You just went to a gun show two months ago.”
____ 41. Thorough with frequent compliments and praise.
____ 42. Has no problem interrupting conversations for “emergencies.”
____ 43. Very attentive, affectionate, and giving to inferiors.
____ 44. Believes that “principle” should be taught at restaurants.
____ ** I think I am …
____ ** Most others, not counting my mother or family, think I am …
____ ** In light of the above two questions, I am …