Bible Friendship
“Thine own friend, and thy father’s friend, forsake not;
neither go into thy brother’s house in the day of thy calamity:
for better is a neighbour that is near than a brother far off.”
Proverbs 27:10
Introduction:
- A godly friend in the sense of this text is one of the greatest blessings God gives His children on earth.
- We are saying farewell to a brother and sister (and three dear children), who have been great friends.
- I call this congregation to duty before God not to forsake their dear friend and my friend in the future.
THE TEXT
- The text may simply be summarized by the last clause of another proverb – Prov 18:24.
- Family ties should be a close bond, but they often lose to selfishness and envy.
- Tried and true friends of character and principle (godliness) excel mere brothers, for the bond of blood is quite meaningless compared to the bond of godliness.
- Joseph found far greater kindness from foreign captors than his own brothers.
- David found far greater love and loyalty from Jonathan than his own brothers.
- David found far greater loyalty, affection, and service from vagabonds than he did from his own envious brothers (I Samuel 22:2; II Samuel 23:14-17).
- Jesus found far greater sympathy, esteem, and loyalty from His disciples than from His brothers (John 7:1-5; Luke 22:15). He knew His true friends – and family – were those who heard the word of God and kept it (Matthew 12:46-50).
- Such friends are more valuable than brothers, so we cultivate and preserve them.
- In trouble, a friend of godly character is far more help than a blood brother.
- True friends are superior to blood brothers, for the relationship is on a better foundation.
- Christian friends are on a better foundation – consider it wisely – regenerated hearts, the precious blood of Christ, the absolute truth of God’s Word, godly hatred of compromise, a life pursuit of holiness, and the hope of eternal life.
- Scripture recognizes friends as dear as one’s own soul, even distinguishing them from the wife of thy bosom (Deuteronomy 13:6; I Samuel 18:1,3; 20:17).
- The very context, unusual in Proverbs, gives valuable traits of godly friends (27:4-5,9).
- Examples of following this rule of wisdom are very enlightening and very encouraging.
- Jonathan was a friend far superior to David’s envious brothers (I Samuel 17:28).
- When he appeared before Saul, his brothers should have been with him.
- God appointed David ruler over His people for his purity (I Sam 16:13).
- We never read of David’s brothers again, for they were envious children, who revealed the wickedness of their hearts by accusing his pure heart.
- Jonathan, who stood to loose much, loved him dearly (I Samuel 18:1-4).
- Jonathan, who loved righteousness more than family sentimentality and career ambitions, chose David over his father easily (I Samuel 19:1-7).
- Their covenant was against the blood ties of Jonathan (I Sam 20:1-17).
- Jonathan, heir to Saul’s throne, chose to serve David (I Sam 23:14-18).
- And this covenant between them included their children (I Sam 23:42).
- David valued Jonathan’s love better than that of women (II Sam 1:26).
- By the covenant, David preserved Jonathan’s son (II Samuel 9:1; 21:7).
- Solomon was friendly with Hiram, King of Tyre, David’s friend – thus practicing the wisdom of the very text we are considering (I Kings 5:1-12).
- Paul had a sister, but his closest friend was likeminded Timothy (Phil 2:19-22).
- Jonathan was a friend far superior to David’s envious brothers (I Samuel 17:28).
- Examples of profaning this rule of wisdom are very enlightening and very frightening.
- Rehoboam rejected his father’s friends and lost the kingdom (I Kings 12:1-20).
- Joash killed the son of the man who protected and trained him (II Chr 24:20-25).
TRUE FRIENDS
- True friends love at all times, regardless of favorable seasons or events (Prov 17:17).
- The friendship must be based on the fear of God, truth, and righteousness (Ps 119:63).
- The blood of Jesus Christ provides an instantaneous bond greater than human blood, when two lovers of Jesus Christ are allowed to meet by the grace of God’s providence.
- There is no selfishness, self-protection, fear, doubts, agenda, or intents in such friends.
- Jonathan’s armourbearer trusted him with loyalty that is very rare (I Samuel 14:6-7).
- When he found him, Jonathan strengthened David’s hand in God (I Samuel 23:14-18).
- Jehu and Jehonadab had an agreement in spiritual zeal without trying (II Kgs 10:15-16).
FALSE FRIENDS
- Fair weather friends are there while it is easy and goodies abound (Prov 14:20; 19:4).
- Carnal friends are those whose friendship is based on the foundation of this world.
- Weak friends are those you must constantly be helping due to their lack of character.
- Loners don’t have any true friends, for they are too selfish to give or be exposed.
- Rebels don’t have any true friends, for their rebellion is evidence of an unruly spirit.
- Compromisers don’t have any true friends, for they will cheat truth again when needed.
- Strange children lie with lips and handshakes, for they know not God (Psalm 144:11).
- They go out from us, because they were never truly of us (I John 2:19; I Cor 11:19).
- Unruly spirits were too much for David, even from faithful nephews (II Samuel 3:39).
THE APPLICATION
- True friends are precisely limited by the character traits of righteousness in Scripture.
- David carefully defined the friends he would have (Psalm 101:4-8; 119:63).
- Family love is a curse when it approaches love of godliness and truth, for compromise is imminent; Jesus came to bring a sword in family relationships (Matt 10:34-39); and if we fail here we cannot be His disciples (Luke 14:25-26).
- No man has forsaken such family ties without reward (Luk 18:28-30; Ps 34:22).
- Friendships can be sought, promoted, and protected; but it requires wisdom and grace.
- The point of our text is to not forsake these valuable friendship (Prov 27:10).
- It takes communication of hearts (John 15:15; Amos 3:3; Exodus 33:11).
- It takes friendliness and the giving of true friendship (Proverbs 18:24).
- The greater zeal a man has for Christ the greater he will be loved by such men.
- Godliness and virtue attract godly and virtuous men; and godliness and virtue disappoint carnal and unprincipled men. Holy living will bring you holy friends.
- Brothers and sisters in Christ are brought together by God’s grace and providence, and the resulting relationships should be the strongest and most pleasant of human friends.
- There is a strong basis and duty of love, regardless of compatibility (I John 5:1).
- The members in a church were hand picked by God Himself (I Cor 12:18).
- Marriage is leading about a sister, which is to marry such a friend (I Cor 9:5).
Conclusion:
- In order to have friends, even great godly friends, a man must show himself friendly (Proverbs 18:24).
- Some can be thankful they have double brothers and sisters, as they are united by blood and BLOOD.
- Brother and Sister, you are true friends in the Lord Jesus Christ and a dear brother and sister in Him.