Proverbs 7:13

So she caught him, and kissed him, and with an impudent face said unto him,

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Here is the strange woman at work. Solomon continued his lengthy description of a whorish woman seducing a young man. Here are three aspects of her character and conduct. She was physically aggressive; she used kisses to seduce; she was immodestly and shamelessly bold. She caught him; she kissed him; she spoke sexually to him.

Virtuous women are physically aggressive, great kissers, and uninhibited – with their husbands in marriage. To other men, and before marriage, they are reserved, modest, and shamefaced. But the strange woman – the adulteress – pursues men outside marriage, kisses men outside marriage, and is flirtatiously and shamelessly bold outside marriage.

A godly woman is not physically aggressive before marriage – she is chaste, pure, and reserves herself totally for her husband (II Cor 11:2). She is ready to be aggressive; she wants to be aggressive; but she understands the power of sexual temptation, and she will do nothing to arouse any man, even her fiancé. Her father also understands, and he keeps her from being alone with a man for even the opportunity of sin, especially her fiancé.

Once a godly woman is married, she is an aggressive lover, following the holy example of the Shulamite in Solomon’s Song (Song 1:2-4,12-14; 2:3-7; 3:1-5; 5:2-16; 8:1-4). What makes the difference? God’s approval of passionate lovemaking in marriage, where both spouses are to be fully satisfied (Pr 5:19; I Cor 7:1-5; Heb 13:4)! The world mocks such virgins before marriage, but real Christian women are the greatest lovers on earth.

Whores are aggressive before marriage and outside marriage. In Solomon’s parable, she physically grabbed the young man. She was the aggressor, and such sexual boldness is glamorized daily for all young girls by the entertainment industry, though only two generations ago most girls were reserved sexually. Only a few men are strong enough to resist such aggression. Joseph was an exception, and a glorious one (Gen 39:7-12). What can a man do? Follow Solomon’s advice, and stay far away from them (Pr 5:8; 7:8).

There are several kinds of kisses. A godly woman knows the differences, and she keeps the intimate ones for marriage. Under cultural, spiritual, or other circumstances, she may kiss a variety of men and women with a salutatory or social kiss of greeting. Rachel, and her father Laban, both kissed Jacob this way (Gen 29:11,13), which is referred to by Paul as a holy kiss, for its total lack of even a hint of sexual intent (Rom 16:16; II Cor 13:12).

Real kisses are for marriage – they are part of lovemaking. They can be more intimate and personal than other sex acts, as they involve such close proximity of faces, eyes, and mouths. The Shulamite gloried in the kisses of lovemaking with her husband (Song 1:2; 5:16; 7:9). But she knew better than to ever give such an intimate and personal invitation to any other man, and she had likely not given it to Solomon before their wedding night.

Whores use kisses before marriage and outside marriage to arouse men and invite them to lovemaking, when they have no right to do so. Whores, by much practice, can raise a man’s sexual drive sky high by kissing. Virtuous girls, ignorant and inexperienced, send a very wrong impression by allowing an intimate kiss before marriage. Solomon’s strange woman, a whore with malicious designs, initiated the kiss herself to seduce her victim.

Why kiss intimately before marriage? What is the purpose? Does it help qualify the other person? Does it help keep your relationship pure until it is sanctified by marriage? Or does it provoke a strong temptation in the mind and body that seeks for full lovemaking? Why create such a horrible predicament? Why increase sexual tension and frustration before marriage? You can learn more about the other person with mature chaperones.

And also, memory of other kisses – enjoyed without the difficulties of married life – may haunt your soul in the future. Why not limit your experience and pleasure of kissing to the one to whom you are married – after you are married? Is this bizarre and strange to you? Holiness is strange in the 21st century! And remember young man, the girl who aggressively kisses you early, will more easily kiss another later, even if married to you.

Fathers are responsible to keep daughters from situations where kissing and other stages of foreplay are possible. There is no reason for a dating couple to ever be alone. What is the purpose or value? There is nothing learned by being alone that cannot be learned in a fraction of that time with helpful chaperones. Girls should be taught the glory and joy of marriage and the lovemaking that is part of it, but they should not have to face difficult moments alone with a pressing man, when passions are high, even if it is their fiancé.

A virtuous girl or woman is bashful, chaste, modest, and reserved in speech with any man, even her fiancé before marriage. Bold sexual speech is another way men are aroused, as proven by popularity of 1-900 calls, chat rooms, Facebook, texting, sexting, etc. Girls seeking to please their heavenly Father and show kind regard to men, especially their fiancé, will reserve all sexual conversation to one man, and him only after marriage.

Whores have no modesty or reserve, and by previous loss of God-given inhibitions, they are very bold in verbal sexual invitations. They do not blush (Jer 3:3). Solomon’s strange woman boldly described the sexual pleasure she was able and willing to give the young fool (Pr 7:14-21). Not inferior to any of her other attractive features, the flattering speech of a strange woman is overpowering (Pr 2:16; 5:3; 6:24; 7:5; 22:14). Just ask Samson!

What should a wise man do? Same answer as before! Stay away from her. Far away from her! If you are far from her, how can she grab you, kiss you, or talk to you? If you do not go near her, her haunts, or her activities, you will never face these powerful temptations that destroy many strong men (Pr 7:26; 23:28). Stay away from many coed gyms, nightclubs, personal email exchanges, office parties, Internet chat rooms, dances, texting, beaches, or close relationships or frequent conversations with any woman but your wife.