Proverbs 31:11

A wife’s loyalty is a very precious thing to a man. Her dedication to domestic needs is part of her loyalty, so he will not have to worry or scrounge for anything for his family. Proverbs 31 has the best picture of a perfect woman, and here faithfulness is described.

How is a virtuous woman rare and her value far above rubies (Pr 31:10)? King Lemuel’s mother described in detail the perfect woman that would be a great wife for her son (Pr 31:1-2). Every woman should aspire to this description written by a queen mother, and every man should only marry a woman matching this holy and inspired picture.

She is first and foremost trustworthy, so her husband has no doubts or fears about her. The virtuous woman can be trusted personally, sexually, domestically, economically, socially, and spiritually. Her life is based on the solid ground of fearing God and doing what is right, regardless of circumstances, temptations, or opportunities to compromise. She would not consider taking advantage of him or neglecting any of his needs or desires.

A husband risks his heart with a wife. She can break his heart by giving her body or love to another (Num 5:11-31; Matt 1:18-19). She can defraud him of adoration or sexual fulfillment (Esth 1:12; I Cor 7:1-5; Eph 5:33). She can break his heart by being lazy and allowing the family or house to suffer (Pr 14:1; Ezek 16:49; I Tim 5:14). She can be odious, contentious, and shameful in private or in public (Pr 12:4; 27:15-16; 30:21-23).

A man married to a virtuous woman, who fears God and lives righteously, has his heart totally at rest; he is fully confident in all she thinks and does (Pr 31:28-31). This is the ultimate in love and marriage for a man in this sinful world. Any other woman will disappoint, defraud, and destroy him in one or more of the sins above. A godly woman fully submits all her desires, loyalty, and service to her husband (I Cor 11:9; Ep 5:22-24).

Contrast trust in a virtuous woman to the pain felt by a husband on a business trip (Pr 7:18-20), Potiphar in Egypt (Gen 39:7), Jacob (Gen 31:19), Samson (Judges 16:15-17), and David (II Sam 6:20-23). The longest parable in the Bible was written to describe the unfaithfulness of Israel as God’s chosen bride (Ezek 16:1-63). A woman that cannot be trusted is like rottenness in the bones, a toothache, and a sprained ankle (Pr 12:4; 25:19).

Domestic trust is the emphasis in this proverb, for the following context exclusively describes the virtuous wife’s diligence and industry in managing the home and contributing income to the estate (Pr 31:12-27). Hardworking and prudent women, who fulfill the lofty description in these wonderful verses, build great families and estates. But a foolish or lazy woman will destroy a man and his family (Pr 7:12; 14:1; I Tim 5:13).

The priority in a woman’s life is serving the family and home. Eve was created to help Adam (Gen 2:18). When a man is away on business or other matters, she is to make sure all runs as smoothly as if he were there. When he is home, she is to relieve him from any worry about the children or house. She is to pursue any investment or work opportunities by which she can add to the family income. Such is the virtuous woman (Pr 31:13-27).

A godly woman is a keeper at home (Titus 2:5). This does not mean she cannot leave the home or even spends most of her time there, for that would contradict the description of the virtuous woman (Pr 31:13-27). But it does mean the home is her priority and responsibility, and she is to avoid any foolish distractions away from it (I Tim 5:13-14). This noble and diligent woman can build a great family and estate, and it requires more elbow grease and sweat equity than it does intelligence and seminars for super moms.

A virtuous woman keeps her husband’s home beautiful, well-decorated, and well-organized (Pr 31:22). He can delight in it every night when he comes home from work and every time he entertains others in it. A Christian woman does not allow her career, children, or other cares to compromise what a Christian home should look like. It should be an attractive, comfortable, neat, orderly, pleasant, and warm place to live or show hospitality. It should impress visitors by the inviting sight, sound, smell, and feeling.

Spoil is goods taken from an enemy in war, or anything taken by force or other injurious means. The husband of a domestically diligent wife will be fully supplied and never think of taking things from others, for he has plenty at home by the faithfulness and wise labors of his wife. A sexually defrauded husband is tempted to fantasy, pornography, or adultery. A domestically defrauded husband is tempted to covetousness, overworking, or theft. Such a man must go beyond his bounds to make up for losses caused by his wife.

Women can be romantically distracted, personally spoiled, sexually selfish, domestically lazy, financially wasteful, or verbally disrespectful. Any one of these sins can build fear and mistrust and eventually break a man’s heart. Women should examine their lives and make every effort to remove any and all doubts and fears from their husbands’ hearts.

Men often choose wives for frivolous reasons like beauty or favor, which generally only add to mistrust (Pr 31:30). A wise man will measure the character and proven record of a woman for trustworthy faithfulness and prudent diligence, especially in domestic duties, even if he has to test her. The future of his heart, life, children, and estate depend on it.

Here is inspired wisdom from heaven for godly and prosperous marriages. Let every woman take heed that her life closely matches that of the virtuous woman described in this chapter. You can do it with God’s help. And let every man desire and pursue only those women like her. If you already have such a woman, bless and thank God for such a precious gift (Pr 18:22; 19:14), and then praise and reward her liberally (Pr 31:28,31).

The church is the bride of Jesus Christ. Each believer is also in a sense the wife of God’s Son. Does His heart fully trust in you that you care only about Him and the things of His kingdom, or does He know you are often distracted pursuing worldly interests? Must He find others to provide the needs of His church and kingdom because you are lazy or selfish, or does He know you will do all expected and more (Luke 17:10; I Cor 15:10)?

May God bless each believing man and woman to be virtuous pertaining to this Husband!