Marriage and Divorce

This is easy, because the Inventor of love, marriage, and sex told you how in writing! You must find a person that totally fears and loves God independently of you, for that person will treat you just as God describes in the Bible, which is as good as a marriage can ever be. You must look for more than just a Christian – there are over 2 billion so-called “Christians” in the world today. They do not live or love any different than the world, and you will suffer the consequences.

You need a person that wants to live by the Bible in all they do and passionately serve Jesus Christ. When the excitement wears off after the honeymoon, then such a person will keep right on loving and treating you perfectly, because they will be doing it to please God and obey the Bible. If you ever need to ask this kind of spouse to change, you can show them their error from the Bible, and they will change. There is no substitute for this foolproof way to marry perfectly.

See Also

More about the fear of the Lord (guys looking for girls): Proverbs 31:30.
More about what guys should look for in girls: Rate-a-Date: Women.
What girls should look for in guys: Looking for One Good Man.
Only marriage in the Lord is allowed: Marriage in the Lord.

The Bible teaches a simple three-step approach. In Revelation 2:5, Jesus told the church at Ephesus how they could revive their first love for Him in three simple steps. Apply those three steps to your marriage, because you need to do the same three things to bring back strong love.

First, remember how good it used to be when you were madly in love and what your relationship was like. Second, repent to God and your spouse for letting things slide so badly. Third, do the first works, which means to make passionate investments in your spouse like you once did. Think about the care you took to look your best, to do creative things, to write the best notes; think about how eager you were to spend time together, do anything for the other person, and forgive any faults. It is as simple as these three steps. Do you have the humility and conviction to do it?

Yes, a Christian may divorce for sexual sins, for desertion, and for other marital offences of a similar nature. Jesus specifically allowed divorce for fornication, or sexual sins (Matt 5:31-32; 19:3-9). Paul allowed divorce for desertion (I Cor 7:12-15,27). Jesus also taught the principles of mercy (Matt 12:1-8) and intent (Mark 2:23-28), which allow divorce for other serious faults.

See Also

Sermon and outline about adultery and divorce: Sermon on the Mount.
Sermon outline on I Corinthians 7, including verses 10-16: I Corinthians 7.
Proverb commentary about just judgment and mercy: Proverbs 21:3.

Yes, any divorce that can be justified by the Bible frees the person from the first marriage and allows remarriage. There is no situation where a divorce can be justified but remarriage cannot be justified. Jesus allowed remarriage after divorce for sexual sins (Matt 5:31-32; 19:3-9). Paul taught that divorce for desertion ended the marriage bond and allowed remarriage (I Cor 7:12-15,27-28). To require a person to remain unmarried for the rest of his or her life due to the faults or crimes of another is cruel and unmerciful (Matt 12:7; Pr 21:3).

This argument of Paul is found in I Corinthians 7:10-11. In this place, he repeated the teaching of Jesus from Matthew 5:31-32 and 19:3-9. The issuer is two believers in the same church, for that is all Jesus ever dealt with, and Paul did not contradict the Lord’s allowance for divorce for sexual sins. These two believers had divorced for wrong reasons (they are stated to now be unmarried), and they should not remarry for that would preclude any possible reconciliation. Two believers wrongly divorced should reconcile. Paul dealt with mixed marriages, which Jesus had not done, in I Corinthians 7:12-16.

Jesus taught principles of mercy (Matt 12:1-8) and intent (Mark 2:23-28) regarding the Sabbath, which may easily and righteously also be applied to marriage (Pr 21:3; Hos 6:6; Jn 7:24). Consider a husband that beats his wife, but does not commit adultery or desert her. A husband that threatens his wife, but does not commit adultery or desert her. A spouse that defrauds the other spouse sexually. A husband that is a habitual drunkard and/or verbally abuses wife or children. A husband that spends all income on gambling, drinking, or his hobbies, etc. These two principles are precious indeed, but they should be applied carefully in light of scripture, and each marriage situation must be judged individually. Reconciliation should be sought first.

See Also

Proverb commentary about just judgment and mercy: Proverbs 21:3.