Graciousness

The DEFINITION

1. Gracious. The quality of being pleasing and attractive; possessing charming and winning grace especially in manner; of character: likely to find favour; of actions: winning favour or goodwill; being courteous and polite with especially condescending courtesy; being merciful and compassionate; possessing grace or moral excellence; endowed with grace or charm of appearance; in a limited sense being graceful and elegant; characterized by kindness and courtesy especially being condescendingly kind, indulgent, and beneficient to inferiors.
2. Odious. A quality and manner deserving of hatred, hateful; causing or exciting hatred or repugnance, disagreeable, offensive, repulsive; exciting odium.
3. A gracious person is never offensive or haughty, always discreet and modest, and is delightfully charming in every way. They are usually described as a “lovely person”; and they would never behave themselves in a disagreeable way. They have many friends, though they do not pursue them or flaunt them.
4. They are always kind, and you feel safe and accepted in their presence. Instead of the discomfort and work of talking to some, they put you at ease completely and instantly.

The IMPORTANCE

1. A gracious woman retains honour – she is always respected, valued, appreciated (Pr 11:16).
2. But there is also an odious woman (person) who provokes hatred and repugnance (Pr 30:23).
3. A good name and loving favour from others – graciousness – is better than riches (Pro 22:1).
4. When I am asked what quality attracts others, I will always say graciousness (Prov 22:11).
5. As Christians we should be like our Lord Jesus Christ – He was Graciousness, as His Father.
6. A beautiful woman without graciousness is as a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout (Pro 11:22).
7. Pain in human relationships is always caused by one or both parties lacking in graciousness.

The EXAMPLE

1. Our Lord Jesus Christ – the perfect Man – should always be our chief goal in character.
   1. Jesus grew in favour with God and man – graciousness with godliness (Luke 2:52).
   2. Jesus had grace poured into His lips, which is a great key of graciousness (Ps 45:2).
   3. When Jesus returned to His home town, the people heard His graciousness (Lu 4:22).
2. Samuel also developed such a spirit – he had graciousness with godliness (I Samuel 2:26).
3. Daniel had an excellent spirit without fault or error – he was very faithful (Dan 5:12; 6:3-4).
4. David was incredibly gracious long before he ever entered the palace – God had taught him.
   1. He was a man after God’s own heart; therefore he possessed graciousness from God.
   2. All the people accepted and loved him and set his name high (I Sam 18:5,14-16,30).
   3. Jonathan, who was to be king, loved him as his own soul (I Sam 18:1-4 cp Pr 22:11).

The SOURCE

1. The Holy Spirit leads and convicts people to be gracious – by His fruit (Galatians 5:22-23).
2. The Holy Scriptures describe the character traits and virtues that should characterize saints.
3. You can never get started until you acknowledge your sin and repent for odious conduct.
   1. I can easily divide this church in half with those having an abrasive edge on one side.
   2. The temperaments are most useful in forcing people to accept verses for them.
   3. Half of those chosen with the abrasive edge will deny and argue about themselves.
   4. All that matters is how God and others view you. Your opinion is only selfish pride.
   5. A great difficulty in ever changing is the stubbornness of most to admit their faults.

The PRACTICE

1. Exalt listening over speaking, if you talk a lot. An excellent spirit spareth words (Pr 17:27).
2. Speak always with grace, seasoned with salt (Col 4:6; Eph 4:29; Eccl 10:12; Prov 16:13).
3. A pure heart provides gracious speech, so keep thy heart with all diligence (Pr 22:11; 31:26).
4. Don’t allow even a little folly, which impulsive spirits will try to justify (Ecclesiastes 10:1).
5. Exalt mercy over judgment. Manliness or holy zeal is not always condemning (James 2:13).
6. Learn each of the fifteen aspects of charity and practice them at all times (I Cor 13:4-7).
7. To the odious person, compassion and affection is flattery and effeminate; but they err.
8. Never . . . that means never . . . be interested in presenting your own opinion (Phil 2:3-4).
9. Meekness is a great virtue we must seek – the lack of interest or effort in self-promotion.
10. If you are given to moodiness, you need to rule your spirit; graciousness does not allow it.
11. Admire and esteem gentleness rather than despise it as effeminate and weak (Gal 5:22-23).
12. Practice with your wife and children, for you will never be otherwise consistently.